(Every single one of these is true, and comes with an insider explanation, when necessary! Oh, and ignore the numbers)
1. You've never met any celebrities.
-Who would want to come to Michigan, just to be shot and mugged in Detroit?
2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
-I have had 4 so far, and 2 Field Trips
3. At least 1 member of your family "disowns" you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.
-If you differ, you are disowned
4. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian
-DON'T GET ME STARTED, you get change from across the border, and you can't even use it anywhere
5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
-According to my mom, this is true because people don't care
7. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
-It is pronounced "Yoo-ker"
8. It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce and Faygo Pop.
-I had NO idea peole could live without it!! Faygo Cream Soda and Vernors are THE two greatest drinks in all history of mankind!!
9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
10. You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.
-Twice or so, during the spring last year.
11. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.
-Not so true, but it wasn't funny
12. The word "thumb" has geographical meaning, rather than anatomical significance.
-I can't imagine it any other way
13. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on the back of your left hand.
-And how to get places, it's annoying really
17. You measure distance in minutes.
-What else would we measure it in?
18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
-Apparently, only in Michigan, we have little inefficient "islands" of land in the middle of our roads, for scenery or something, and when driving, you go around them, and that is a "Michigan turn"
19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but it isn't that far from Hell.
-It isn't very close to Hell either. Hell is near Mackinac, and at the Academy
20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.
-We'd have one season, but during construction, they are cheap and never fix anything, so it breaks during winter and they work on it AGAIN
21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
-Mr.Macho and his family want to see the new Christmas power tools
22. You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
-Oh GOSH!!! DO NOT OPEN DOORS
24. Most people you meet out of state think you know Eminem personally.
-You would think that, wouldn't you?
25. The only place in the world can you experience
all four seasons in one day.
-At least two of them in a week, yes. Right now we are switching continuously between spring and winter
26. You know what a 'party store' is.
-Well duh, and if you don't, apparently they are called "convenience stores"
27. You've never met any celebrities.
-I ALMOST met Hannah Montana
28. You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my
-Not me, but half of the people I know, probably
29. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,
Let's see... There's the strawberry, cherry, peach, groundhog, deer, moose, pumpkin, turkey, oktoberfest....
30. You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.
-And salt and sandbags
31. Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.
-The only time you are truly safe
32. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
-Have you SEEN our snow?
33. You’ve ever used the word “bogue.”
-It's a perfectly cromulent word! GUILTY!!
34. The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM,
or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.
-We have very many of the pizza places here, and if you know Michigan, cars are our life
35. Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.
-There aren't any small towns here
36. You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
-I tried sledding during the Summer ONE TIME
37. The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
-This was just funny
38. You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
-And in Colorado when we went bikini skiing
39. The local paper covers national and international news on l/4 page, but
requires 6 pages for sports.
-More like 8 pages
40. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
-Where else would we keep the smelt?
41. If you know what a panczki is.
-Pronounced "Puch-kee", and it is from Polish origin. Hamtramack housed the original Polish immigrants, like my grandfather on my father's side
42. If half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you don't personally
know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
-We say Detroit because nobody knows where anywhere else is
43. If you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
-And Lake St.Claire is the East
44. If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
-Until my mom and dad quit, yes, that was true
45. If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
-You only think that if you haven't been there, then you want to move immediately
46. If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've
been to Ann Arbor".
-You can answer the same thing if they ask if you have been to Japan
47. If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
-Because of conditioning, I am required to say, "GO REDWINGS!!"
48. If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation....in January.
- >_< You get to see the Aurora Borealis. That makes it worthwhile.
49. If you see nothing wrong with watching fireworks in Detroit on July 2nd.
-You usually see them by June 29th, or hear them earlier, but they could just be gunshots
50. If you know how to pronounce Sault Ste. Marie.
-Even the dumbest of us know that is is pronounced "Soo Saint Muh-ree"
51. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number
-My mom has (why do I keep bringing her into this!?! How lame...)
52. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
Good story: Hit a deer, got the car fixed, next day: hit another deer!! You see them A LOT, like just last month even
-53. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without
-Only the foreigners, non-Russian, flinch
54. If the only nice cities are the pink triangle districts
-Royal Oak, Ferndale, Ann Arbor...
55. If a place near you has been suspected of being an Al-Qaeda Base
-Farmington, oh my... We have a racist undertone in the security of our locations...like only one color comes to mind when people say the word Detroit (sorry to be so blunt, but it's true!)
56. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
-Ah~ A nice 0 degree spring day...
57. You know that UP is a place not a direction
-The UP is the Upper Peninsula! Yay!
58. You actually understand everything I just said.
-I did, and I laughed like a maniac
I never realized that half of this stuff was Michigan exclusive. It's kind of shocking actually. I'M A HICK!!
That's what I get for being in a blue-collar state. No wonder we suck.
A LIFE WITHOUT VERNORS!! IT IS SIMPLY UNIMAGINABLE!!
(Think of liquid Jelly-Babies! That's what it's like!)