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Tabula Rasa: Clean Slate

It has been a long time..

Avery long time.

Too long.

Today marks the turning point and a promise. You do not know me. You have never met me, and you know nothing about my character. Disregard all previous information you may have read. All of it is a lie. All that you have now is what I say now, and what I will say from this point forth. The child left behind in the countless pages prior to this has died. In his place is a new, suffering soul. Someone who has yet to see the world, but has been exposed to enough of it to know that he hates life. In fact, he carries disdain for his own existence, wishing it all away.

I suppose it's time for catching up then:

I had my birthday a while back.

I'm still not old enough.

I broke up.

In all senses of the term.

I broke up with someone and we became "just friends." 'What's wrong with friendship?' they ask. I could tell them a few things.

I also broke up mentally and emotionally. Aside from going to a dead-end no-future high school, and having no job, and the impending foreclosure of my house, I just can't wait to see what happens next. My mentality seems to darken every day. My jaded views start lashing out at others. I worry about my mental stability each and every day. Maybe I have reason to. Maybe I do not. I am a hypochondriac after all. All I know is that I have the greatest blessing: one friend in the world that matters to me. And for some reason...it is also my greatest burden. I care too much. I want more than I can have. More than I deserve. More than I should even fathom. Why he even sticks with me I do not know. I'm not even nearly his age, and yet there's very little I can do to try and stop thinking about him for even a few minutes. But I really don't want to talk about that right now...

There is a reason I chose to make this entry visible to everyone though. This is a new beginning, and as such, I am willing to give a chance for newcomers to see what's here. Who knows how I'm going to change, but after reading what you already have, would you really want to read my journal...?

To be honest, I miss writing in my journal. For a time, it was all I really had. Then I met JF, and everything changed. I realized that people can change who you are. They can change the way you feel, the way you think, how you act, what you do. We need people to become ourselves.

But at the same time, I hate them. Even if hate is a strong word, it is an accurate one. I feel so alone, and people seem so close. It's cruel really. I don't know what to do. And check me out if you want to: http://vortexgrey.deviantart.com/ </shameless>
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Every single one of these is true, and comes with an insider explanation, when necessary! Oh, and ignore the numbers)

1. You've never met any celebrities.
-Who would want to come to Michigan, just to be shot and mugged in Detroit?


2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
-I have had 4 so far, and 2 Field Trips


3. At least 1 member of your family "disowns" you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.
-If you differ, you are disowned

4. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian
-DON'T GET ME STARTED, you get change from across the border, and you can't even use it anywhere

5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
-According to my mom, this is true because people don't care

7. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
-It is pronounced "Yoo-ker"

8. It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce and Faygo Pop.
-I had NO idea peole could live without it!! Faygo Cream Soda and Vernors are THE two greatest drinks in all history of mankind!!

9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
-Easy: "Mack-ih-naw"

10. You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.
-Twice or so, during the spring last year.

11. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.
-Not so true, but it wasn't funny

12. The word "thumb" has geographical meaning, rather than anatomical significance.
-I can't imagine it any other way

13. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on the back of your left hand.
-And how to get places, it's annoying really

17. You measure distance in minutes.
-What else would we measure it in?

18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
-Apparently, only in Michigan, we have little inefficient "islands" of land in the middle of our roads, for scenery or something, and when driving, you go around them, and that is a "Michigan turn"

19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but it isn't that far from Hell.
-It isn't very close to Hell either. Hell is near Mackinac, and at the Academy

20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.
-We'd have one season, but during construction, they are cheap and never fix anything, so it breaks during winter and they work on it AGAIN

21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
-Mr.Macho and his family want to see the new Christmas power tools

22. You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
-Oh GOSH!!! DO NOT OPEN DOORS

24. Most people you meet out of state think you know Eminem personally.
-You would think that, wouldn't you?

25. The only place in the world can you experience
all four seasons in one day.
-At least two of them in a week, yes. Right now we are switching continuously between spring and winter

26. You know what a 'party store' is.
-Well duh, and if you don't, apparently they are called "convenience stores"

27. You've never met any celebrities.
-I ALMOST met Hannah Montana

28. You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my
coat at?"
-Not me, but half of the people I know, probably

29.  All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,
or animal.
Let's see... There's the strawberry, cherry, peach, groundhog, deer, moose, pumpkin, turkey, oktoberfest....

30.  You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.
-And salt and sandbags

31. Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.
-The only time you are truly safe

32. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
-Have you SEEN our snow?

33. You’ve ever used the word “bogue.”
-It's a perfectly cromulent word! GUILTY!!

34. The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM,
or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.
-We have very many of the pizza places here, and if you know Michigan, cars are our life

35. Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.
-There aren't any small towns here

36. You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
-I tried sledding during the Summer ONE TIME

37.  The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
-This was just funny

38. You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
-And in Colorado when we went bikini skiing

39.  The local paper covers national and international news on l/4 page, but
requires 6 pages for sports.
-More like 8 pages

40. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
-Where else would we keep the smelt?

41.  If you know what a panczki is.
-Pronounced "Puch-kee", and it is from Polish origin. Hamtramack housed the original Polish immigrants, like my grandfather on my father's side

42. If half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you don't personally
know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
-We say Detroit because nobody knows where anywhere else is

43. If you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
-And Lake St.Claire is the East

44. If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
-Until my mom and dad quit, yes, that was true


45. If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
-You only think that if you haven't been there, then you want to move immediately

46. If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've
been to Ann Arbor".
-You can answer the same thing if they ask if you have been to Japan

47.  If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
-Because of conditioning, I am required to say, "GO REDWINGS!!"

48. If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation....in January.
-   >_< You get to see the Aurora Borealis. That makes it worthwhile.

49. If you see nothing wrong with watching fireworks in Detroit on July 2nd.
-You usually see them by June 29th, or hear them earlier, but they could just be gunshots

50. If you know how to pronounce Sault Ste. Marie.
-Even the dumbest of us know that is is pronounced "Soo Saint Muh-ree"

51. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number
-My mom has (why do I keep bringing her into this!?! How lame...)


52. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
Good story: Hit a deer, got the car fixed, next day: hit another deer!! You see them A LOT, like just last month even

-53. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without
flinching.
-Only the foreigners, non-Russian, flinch

54. If the only nice cities are the pink triangle districts
-Royal Oak, Ferndale, Ann Arbor...

55. If a place near you has been suspected of being an Al-Qaeda Base
-Farmington, oh my... We have a racist undertone in the security of our locations...like only one color comes to mind when people say the word Detroit (sorry to be so blunt, but it's true!)

56. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
-Ah~ A nice 0 degree spring day...

57. You know that UP is a place not a direction
-The UP is the Upper Peninsula! Yay!

58. You actually understand everything I just said.
-I did, and I laughed like a maniac

I never realized that half of this stuff was Michigan exclusive. It's kind of shocking actually. I'M A HICK!!

That's what I get for being in a blue-collar state. No wonder we suck.

A LIFE WITHOUT VERNORS!! IT IS SIMPLY UNIMAGINABLE!!

(Think of liquid Jelly-Babies! That's what it's like!)
 
 
 
 
 
 
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WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Laura is the nicest person I know.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yeah, I know I'm workin' late, so what? I DON'T NEED SLEEP!!!! So, I found some new programs on Firefox (I LOVE FIREFOX, furry AND useful) like "Yoonoo", "stumble upon" and a few others that I've forgotten but will be sure to post. Anyway, I HIGHLY reccomend stmble because of how fun, cool and all around great it is. Seriously, download Firefox AND stumble. Firefox is 7 times better than ANY browser yet. Duh!!! 9_9
 
 
 
 
 
 
It was my dream to paint my hair blue for several years, along with going to Japan. Well on April 15th through 17th, I spray painted my hair BLUE just for shock value and to observe the reaction that I got. For the most part, everyone liked my blue hair and said it was cool. Even Laura liked it. Speaking of which, Laura doesn't like me any more since she hasn't emailed me, called me talked to me or contacted me in any way. She hasn't even talked to my brother yet and according to my brother, she hasn't been wearing any of the necklaces that I got for her. I suppose I shouldn't be sad because we never had anything going, but you know how it hurts when you give someone a gift that you spent a lot of time getting and think that they would like it but find out that they indeed dislike it. More on her presents, my feelings and her next though. And TODAY'S entry.
Anywho, my hair was blue (that rhymes!!! ^.^) and people liked it. Three problems though, first, It was a temporary Halloween spray that washed right out and came out easily. Secondly, it itched like heck and flaked right out and faded in a powdery form. Yeah. It stunk. Third, it really needed to be styled better. It was just sprayed on and not placed very well. But with all things considered, if it looked good when it was "bad", it must be really good when it's styled/dyed properly
Anyway, I'm glad I accomplished one dream. Now I'll just have to get a permanent spray. ^.^
 
 
 
 
 
 
Nothingness, not even a noun. The word itself cannot be classified because it refers to nothing in itself. It is at it's closest with being an abstract noun, because it mentions an idea and though few people know it, a noun is a: person, place, thing OR IDEA. Below is the Wikipedia defined term of nothing:
Nothing is the lack or absence of anything at all. Colloquially, the term is often used to indicate the lack of anything relevant or significant, or to describe a particularly unimpressive thing, event, or object.

And here is the article which is an excerpt from wiki:

"Logic and philosophy

Grammatically, the word "nothing" is a noun, which suggests that it refers to some thing. This can lead to confusion and forms the basis for a number of jokes. Its basic uses can often be restated to avoid this appearance: "There is nothing in the basement" can be restated as "There is not anything in the basement" or "Everything is not in the basement." "Nothing is missing" can be restated as "everything is present". Conversely, many fallacious conclusions follow from treating "nothing" as a noun. In one old joke, if nothing is worse than the Devil, and nothing is greater than God, then the Devil must be greater than God:

(nothing) > God \wedge Devil > (nothing)

\to Devil > (nothing) > God

\to Devil > God

Modern logic made it possible to articulate these points coherently as intended, and many philosophers hold that the word "nothing" does not function as a noun: there is not any object it refers to. There are still various opposing views, though: that, for example, our understanding of the world rests essentially on noticing absences and lacks as well as presences, and that "nothing" and related words serve to indicate these.

The concept of 'nothing' has been studied throughout history by philosophers and theologians; many have found that careful consideration of the notion can easily lead to the logical fallacy of reification. (If one does not believe that nothing is no thing.) The understanding of 'nothing' varies widely between cultures, especially between Western and Eastern cultures and philosophical traditions. For instance, Shunyata (emptiness), unlike "nothingness," is considered a state of mind in Buddhism (see Nirvana, mu, and Bodhi). Existentialism and Martin Heidegger have brought these two understandings closer together.

[edit] Science

In mathematics, nothing does not have a technical meaning. It could be said that a set contains "nothing" if and only if it is the empty set, in which case its cardinality (or size) is zero. In other words, the word "nothing" is an informal term for an empty set.

In physics, the word nothing is not used in any technical sense. A region of space is called a vacuum if it does not contain any matter. But it can contain physical fields. In fact, it is practically impossible to construct a region of space which contains no matter or fields, since gravity cannot be blocked and all objects at a non-zero temperature radiate electromagnetically. However, supposing such a region existed, it would still not be "nothing", since it has properties and a measurable existence as part of the quantum-mechanical vacuum.

In computing, "Nothing" (VB.Net), or "null" (Java, C#, [others), can be a keyword used to represent an unassigned variable, or a pointer that does not point to any particular memory address, or a reference that does not refer to an extant object. Similarly, Null is used in SQL as a symbolic representation of the absence of data. This meta-data usage of "null" is different from the unprintable ASCII and unicode null character, which has a numerical value of zero — although it is different from the ASCII character for zero ("0"). The ASCII blank character (" ") is not the same as an empty string (""), which is itself sometimes confused with the null pointer in languages such as C. Most forms of assembly language have a no-operation (nop) instruction (often with a numerical value of zero) — that is, a command to do nothing, which can prove useful for blanking out areas of problem code."

With ALL of that said, I have "nothing" left to say. Other than, of course, what does it essentially matter? I mean, sure it seems interesting on the OUTSIDE but if you truly look at the whole picture, what does it matter if you think nothing is something or not? It IS a very disturbing theological topic and I wouldn't mind discussing it, however, it is late and I really just like the word itself. With that said, do this for me, I want YOU to imagine what "NOTHING", and I mean nothing, not blank, looks like. You can't. However if such a place in space were to exist, and it was nothing, it would still be SOMETHING!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Normal

Helping yourself

Being Helped

Looking

Way things work out

Plagarism
I'm sorry, I really haven't been citing my pictures, sayings or much of ANYTHING else and I don't think that's fair to all of the people who worked hard making them so I will, from now on ALWAYS put the name of the author and artist so that their fame will spread. I'm sorry to those I cheated. Also, I will finally be looking for other people on LJ that have similar interests. Hopefully I'll find a few furries, (which I know I will) because I know that MANY artists and furries go to LJ. In fact, if you didn't know, LJ is almost more popular than myspace, and in my opinion LJ is the better blogger.
 
 
 
 
 
 



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The music from Omen is the one that always gets confused with the first movement of Carmina Burana
 
 
 
 
 
 


















































 
 
 
 
 
 
All of this will be taken care of in due time. SERIOUSLY. you've got to believe me that I'll fix ALL of this. Just wait.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yeah, yeah yeah, Iknow I have work to do, but fun stuff is just so much more...."FUN".

While in the Garden of Eden, Adam is looking very depressed and so God comes down and asks, "what's wrong?" Adam responds and says "I'm feeling VERY lonely and empty." This gives God an idea and so he says to Adam, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed." Adam immediately responds with great interest, "WOW, she sounds GREAT! Now how much would this "woman" cost?" God says, "An arm and a leg." Adam pauses for a moment and thinks. He then says "What could I get for just a rib?"





He soon later went into the advertising business for produce in 2035. About 10,000 fangirls starting eating healthier that year.




 
 
 
 
 
 
I would please like some comments on my journal if you wouldn't mind, I DON'T want to do it myself. I really don't want to write this journal for naught. I enjoy acknowledgments. Is anybody there? Why won't you answer? Geniuses are ALWAYS the first ignored... ANSWER ME!!! NO, I'M NOT EMO!!! petulant fool....
 
 
 
 
 
 
Guess what?!? I still haven't updated my journal! Isn't that great? I plan to post new sites (like the abridged and etc.) and add photos but have been to darn lazy. Bye now!
Also I forgot (losing meaning isn't it, huh?) that I didn't write my entry yesterday, so yeah. I need to get to that.